I don't know if there is ever a ';right'; answer to this question. I have been in hospice nursing for about 2 years and have found that there is no guidelines.
The best thing you can do to help someone to cope with their death is to be there and listen. There are many thing that go through a persons mind when faced with their own mortality.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has written extensively about her experience working with terminally ill patients and with survivors of Nazi concentration camps in her book, “on Death and Dying.” She writes five psychological stages of grieving. It is her feeling that any kind of loss from the death of a loved one, the loss of a special relationship, failing an exam, or losing ones wallet triggers the same type of responses that all people go through.
1. DENIAL: At this stage of the process we are unwilling to accept the truth of the situation. This is also a stage of shock and we may feel like we are in a dream and will soon awaken to find the problem isn’t there.
2. ANGER: It is common for persons experiencing loss to feel angry and feel the need to blame themselves or others for their situation. It is not uncommon to feel that God is punishing you.
3. BARGAINING: This phase is brief but important. We tell ourselves if this problem goes away we will be a better person and will try to make up for mistakes in the past.
4. DEPRESSION: We feel depressed as we anticipate various kinds of changes in our living situations or even the loss of our own lives if we are suffering from a serious illness.
5. ACCEPTANCE: After moving through the previous steps we can finally accept what cannot change. We may not like the experience but we can accept it and move on with our lives.
Moving through these five stages is necessary to complete the grieving process successfully. Sadly, some people never reach the final stage. And sometimes it is necessary to go back and repeat some of the stages before we can finally reach inner peace of the acceptance stage.
The best solution is often to say nothing at all, simply to be present. Or, if you are a close friend, to say, ';I love you'; and let it go at that. Simple expressions of concern are what most of us, living or dying, welcome, especially if the expression comes from a good listener. Critical to talking with someone who is dying is practicing the art of listening: be present and wait; or ask a question and wait. Try to avoid offering instant solutions or pleasantries, instead saying, ';That must be awful/gratifying/painful/frustrating/won… or whatever single word fits. Recognize and acknowledge the impact for good that one leaves behind, thanks to some deed or interaction, can be a comfort in the waning days of life. (Do you remember the time...? I was just thinking about ...';)
Like I said, people are all different, there aren't any guidelines. Please don't be afraid to talk or spend time with a person who is dying for fear of ';saying the wrong thing.';
I hope things all work out well for you, take care.Is anyone on YA terminially ill and knows they will die soon? If so, how are you coping?
THIS QUESTION NEEDS MORE FACTS ON IT ,IT COULD FALL ON MANY DIFFERENT WAYS OF DIEING.
I have *** cancer and will die in two weeks...it's all good.
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